Better Week, 1 1/2 Year Mark, Faith Over Fear

Things here are getting better and picking up. I got so many emails this week, it is not even funny, everyone giving me advice and stuff. So many I had to print almost all of them and I'll have to read them later. Whatever you did, people listened haha. 
This week was crazy. 

Monday I bought a new suit. We got to ball out and that was good to just go crazy and ball and get some of my energy out. We had a good dinner at the Evan's, one of my former Bishops before the ward boundaries changed and that was good. They are a funny family. 

THIS is what I got for pics this week!

Tuesday was pretty good. I was on an exchange with Elder Hubbard and no lie, he kept me sane. He had me laughing hard and having a good time and made me want to take a step back and relax and enjoy this work. He can also play the piano like no one I have ever heard, so we played during the end of the day and it was cool. 

Wednesday we had a cool miracle. We got a referral from the Sisters and we went by and he was this guy with Down's Syndrome. He is just so cool, he took a pamphlet and we are going to start teaching him. He is totally accountable, so he can get baptized! He is a really nice young boy, like 22 or so, so that got me excited. 

Then we had a DLC and we all talked about what keeps us from baptizing and we had a great counsel on faith, it was pretty powerful. Then I came home to a letter on my desk from one of our Zone leaders and he just ripped into me. He was trying to be kind in the letter, but he just plain said I don't do anything and I need to change and that drove my anger through the roof...but he is right and if he had not told me that, I would never have realized that I have been lazy and all this in the sense, my fault from my lack of effort. 
I realized I had to bite my pride and work and I did and I feel better. I was making goals, then dropping them, because I have been lazy. 

Thursday, my 1 1/2 year mark, I refined my goal. I recommitted to do the Lord's will and pulled up my socks and I am gonna hit and accomplish my darn goal, no ifs, ands or butts. I also set a goal to cut back on my food intake and to get in better shape these last 6 months (I'd REALLY better get to the gym!!)
Today was great though. I got Chinese food for dinner, I had a BBQ with Smores, I downed a full can of Monster in 10 seconds...never touching one of those again!! It was a great day. 

Now, I am going to do something I have never done before. I am going to quote my actual Friday journal entry. Share on the blog, it's pretty cool. Here it is: 

So today was an intense day, so we had a zone meeting today. This is a meeting that covers what the Zone Leaders went over in Mission Leadership Counsel. It was on working with members and faith. The first part was okay but the faith section was so powerful. There were a few talks on it and they were stuff like fear and faith and how they don't go together. Elders Gregory and Holm carried around an entire box of Book of Mormon copies and handed them all out and they talked on that. One of the other DL talked about "but if not faith" like, if you want to baptize you will "but if not" you will put your all into it. Elder King closed and he had everyone, or lots of us, share our memories on faith and I shared mine on my conversion. There were a lot of people in tears (I was as well). It was a real powerful meeting and now I know I need to work on my faith. That was Friday. 

Saturday we walked almost all day to try to talk to people and two people stopped us on the street and one of them was a former member and he wants to take the lessons again so that was really cool. We talked to a lot of people today and that was us getting out of the care and choosing faith over fear. Things are picking up here, I know we will start to get back to the Golden days. We also had dinner with two converts and that was cool to talk to them. 

Sunday was a good, but slow, Sabbath day!

Well, thank you for all of your support. I love you all so much. Muah. You're the best

Love Elder Routledge 

Ocean, BBQ.....but Having a Tough Time...

So this week was good. We had some good 4th of July food. I was on a few exchanges and I tried ICEE for the first time. It's carbonated Slurpee, so that was cool. I went to Oxnard and saw the ocean, got some good pictures and saw some old friends so the week had some ups for sure. 
This week was hard for me. I want to be open but just know not to worry, I am doing better now. I do ask that you have some people send me quotes and uplifting stories, maybe in next weeks email. I am not coming home, I am going to put my all into these last 6 months, but really, it has been tough. 

Elder Endicott and I are doing better. He is really struggling hard and I am doing my best to keep him happy, he is just having a hard time, I sure do appreciate him though. I was tempted to call home on Friday and tell President I am DONE. It got to a point where I just did not want to be out. I am having issues feeling worthy of being a missionary and as soon as I realized it, I called President Felix and he had me read some scriptures and say a prayer. I have been on the phone with him lots and he has been helping me out. 
I really have decided that I can not leave. I have to stay and I know I WILL get over this, it has just been such a hard transfer, with finding no investigators, and just having no desire to work. 
I have also been letting my responsibility as a District Leader slip and have been failing to lead by example. I think it has come from me just being lazy, so I am going to just do all I can to fight and keep growing, and President is right beside me helpng me out. Now, I do not want you to worry. Everyone has a hard day, this is a trial I have been given to grow. Now it is a hard trial, but it is for my greater good and I know it. 

When Joseph Smith was in Liberty Jail, he prayed and asked why he had to struggle and if the Lord was still even there (I'm paraphrasing, of course). The Lord, in His infinite and great goodness told him, "And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good" (D&C 122:7). 

I know that these things are helping me and will be for my good and that it will allow me to see the Lord's love in a new way, I just have to figure out what his plan for me is. 
I think the scary thing is that I let the wrong things get at me and I should not have. There's no reason to let them get at me, I know who I am and where I came from so I just have to push all the bad out and let the good flourish as itis supposed to. 

Well, mom,dad I am okay now. This will allow me to grow but missions are not all peachy and happy joy, it is work and very stressful at times, but you are your best convert. 
I do love you so much. I am okay, I will be okay. Christ is with me, He knows how I feel and He will free me. Trust Him as I will do the same. 

Muah, Muah, Muah
Have a great week and say hello to everyone for me. 

Love Elder Routledge
A disciple of Jesus Christ 

Canada Day, Returned Missionary and Zone Conference

We just had our July 4th breakfast this morning and it was packed tight. We have to be in at 8, so no fireworks for us. 

With Will Comin & Elder Hull 

Monday was actually good. We had Will Comin come back and I got to go out for lunch with him, and that was so great to see him again, I miss that guy. We went to a war museum for activity and it was pretty awesome, we had a lot of fun. We had a good dinner with this one family and the mom had a baby like 2 weeks ago, so I got to see a brand new tiny baby child person. 

Tuesday was pretty good as well. We had a family in our ward get stationed in Spain for the Navy so we went to his house and cleaned out his fridge and got a bunch of free food so that was pretty good. You know me and food...we are inseparable. We also did a bunch of less active visits and that was really good. A few people were really good about us coming back to see them. 

With Elder Crook

Wednesday I was on an exchange with Elder Crook and he is a freaking RIOT. Man, he reminded me of Brandon the ginger hehe. I think that is why we got so close, because I was like, with Brando. We got to see people from Oxnard that I had not seen a while so that was cool. It was a real fun day and he taught me a faster way to solve the Rubik's Cube. I can do it in like 1:30 now, so it's pretty cool. 

Thursday was good. Elder Endicott and I talked and I think we may have fixed an issue we had between us. We had a great day and are doing great. I also ate a full pack of brown sugar bacon and was put in a food coma for like 2 hours. I could not move, so that was great and horrible all in one day haha. 

Friday things were great. We had a great Zone Conference, but we did not win the clean car award :( 

Zone Conference

We did get to hear from both Stake Presidents from the two stakes, and it was great. I wore my Canada tie and had a Canada day, that was good. We had a great pizza dinner and then a lesson with Curtis and we had an awesome fire and smores at the Hernandez to end this Canada Day. A good day. 

Saturday we were in Oxnard almost all day either getting our car fixed, or giving a blessing to one of our sick Elders, but almost all day we had stuff to do so we could not really do work. 

He says he needs more photos

Sunday we had a great American fast and testimony meeting and I said the Opening prayer and thanked God for the States and wore an american tie. My Bishop got up and said, "If a Canadian can be that patriotic and thank God for the USA, why can't you all be more involved?" haha. It was kinda funny. 
After that I had a supersize meeting with the MP and we talked about how things have been going and hopefully things will get better from here on out. 
It was a good and bad week, more good though. 


I love you all so much and thank you for all that you do. 
Muah, Muah 
Have a great summer. I'll talk to you soon
Love, 

KEV Elder Routledge 

Pulled over, a New Outlook...and the Atonement

So, some pretty cool updates. 
First, I get to see Alicia every Monday. I think that is so cool that I am so close to my converts mom, that she has become a great friend and I can see her every week. 

First McD's in a year & a half

I FINALLY got pulled over, took me long enough. I have wanted, for my whole mission, to have that happen. I got pulled over for driving at night with no lights on and a busted out license plate light haha. I didn't get a ticket, he was real nice and all, but it was cool. Pulled over as a missionary....check

You sent me an action figure, but I already have that one haha (oops)
Then the gift Tricia gave me at Christmas, the picture of me in front of the Temple...well, it finally broke. Well, not finally, sadly, but tell her it sat on my desk for a solid year and a half. I took the picture out and put it in my journal so I still have it, just not the frame :)
What else? Oh man, life changed but that's going to wait until the end. 

Monday, nothing worth writing about. 

Tuesday. Sad day in Cali. We had an Elder join us for 4 hours on his LAST day. We took him out working until we had to take him to Ventura to drop him off at President's house. He changed my whole outlook. 
So, he being on his last day, every person he talked to, he gave a book of Mormon and get this. We told him it's time to go and we turn around and he's running down the street away from us to talk to one last person. And he did! It just made me realize that, my day is....coming :( (He may be sad about that, but this momma sure isn't!). So I have decided to work everyday like it is my last because as sad as it is, that day will come. 

Zone Conference

Wednesday we had a district leader council where we talked about our zone and how to help and it was actually pretty good. We shared some good insights and formed a pretty good zone goal. 

Thursday I was back with Elder Gregory at a district leader training and that was real awesome. I saw Elder Huston, some old companions, we received great training from President and his wife. It was cool. I got some good insights and took some good notes on how to improve. I can not wait to share all my notes with y'all when I get home.

Friday..okay this is insane. 
So first, Saturday and Sunday were good, quiet days. Not much happened. yea good days, it was cool. Now Friday, the big change. Okay so....

I was going to quote something but I can't find it. It is a talk and it says that something that may keep missionaries from putting their all in and being obedient and this other stuff, they may be lacking in their knowledge of the Atonement. 
This week I am only going to study the Atonement and pray about it every day. Today I started my study of the Atonement and I am going to seek for a stronger testimony of it. 

My studies this morning actually brought tears to my eyes, like I just started to cry during my studies and I have no idea why. I think that is what has held me back this whole time, not knowing how much my Saviour rally loves me, and that I can not repay him. I will just put my all into it, to show Him how bad I want to find people to baptize and to use his gifts and call upon Him. 

It came to me like a light bulb that I need to study the Atonement more and I am so grateful for my Saviour and all that he has done for me. I have been given a whole new look on life. Finally I am gaining a strong witness of the Church, it just clicked this morning. 

I love you all at home so much and I can not even begin to describe it. The love and support you have shown me has driven me to go on. I love you and am very grateful for you. I pray for you each by name. Have a great week and find joy in our Saviour, Jesus Christ this week. Find out how to use His gift and to call upon Him. He careth for you. (1 Peter 5:7) He loves you, He is full of grace and truth (2 Nephi 2:6)

I love you, but He loves you more. 
Thank you. Muah 

Have a great week 

Elder Routledge